Women Leaders...
Do You Really Belong?
Have you ever walked into a leadership meeting and felt like you are out of place, under qualified, or not confident about your contribution? Or,
Have you ever experienced being not treated as an equal, like you don’t belong, or questioned why you are even there?
In our executive coaching with women leaders, we find that even those who’ve attained positional power, may not have the experience of true belonging, either internally or externally.
Let’s take a look at the relevance of belonging to women leaders and leadership.
It is challenging to define true belonging. Most defining texts refer to “the rightful possession of”, “fit in a specific place or environment”, or rightly placed in a specific position”. These notions are insufficient to the experience of belonging. We are better served by words like acceptance, connection, or integration vs. alienation. These at least point to our human experience.
True belonging is indeed an experience. Even in the word itself, we see the word “longing”. It evokes a “felt sense” in our human experiences. We see examples all around us, i.e. in the ecosystems of the animal, plants, and nature itself. From inside of us, true belonging is a “knowing”. We feel at ease, empowered, and nurtured. From outside of us, we feel supported, encouraged, and esteemed. I say it is a “knowing” because we either know it or not. We are in an experience of belonging or non-belonging.
This is what makes belonging so inspirational. When we know, we feel supported, encouraged, and nurtured, we are propelled toward fuller expression of our selves. We want to give and contribute to others. When we know, it is safe to be who we are, we are inspired to authentically be so. This is the difference between participating in a meeting where you are silent because your contribution is unappreciated or even unwelcomed vs. an enlivened voice of a true contributor. Our neuropathways begin to “light up” as we can turn our attention and talents toward solutions and actions. The impact on our success and results becomes the evidence.
This also points to the benefits of knowing you belong. We free ourselves to bring our whole selves to the world, our family, and our community. We are freed from paralyzing judgement, and other’s rejection. At work, we can bring our best ideas, thoughts, feelings to share with our boss, peers, and others. At home, we can freely create an environment of loving, caring, and nurturing for our family. We become unbound to inspire and contribute.
Belonging is a journey from the inside out, and from the outside in. Where we can make the most immediate impact is from the inside. Starting with a full embodiment of, “I belong”.
Over my years of experience working with leaders, I have uncovered how belonging impacts results and success. Let’s take a moment to explore the Dimensions of Belonging™.
How can you use this model for greater impact toward your success and true belonging?
Here’s a quick self-assessment for you.
Take a few minutes to assess your belonging. Rate your experience on a scale of 1 – 5.
(1 – Strongly Disagree 2 – Disagree 3 – Uncertain 4 – Agree 5 – Strongly Agree).
| 1. I feel accepted whenever I am with others. | ( ) |
| 2. I feel free to be who I am around my family members. | ( ) |
| 3. I feel very comfortable around my peers. | ( ) |
| 4. I value the unique skills and talents that I possess. | ( ) |
| 5. I feel confident whenever I attend meetings at work. | ( ) |
| 6. I actively contribute to those around me. | ( ) |
| 7. I feel confident about myself. | ( ) |
| 8. I am able to add value to those around me. | ( ) |
Self-scoring: Total your scores to identify your sense of belonging.
High sense of belonging: 31 — 40 points
Medium sense of belonging: 11 — 30 points
Low sense of belonging: 1 — 10 points
We appreciate your effort to become aware and invite you to grow your sense of belonging. Obviously, this starts with you. We are encouraging you to look with fresh eyes at how you see yourself in this conversation and how others see you. How are you impacted by it in your world? The premise is that if you cannot see it, there is very little you can begin to do about it.
I worked with a woman executive who did not see herself as a leader. She was responsible for a small team in her company tasked with delivering a project on time and under budget. Her results were being viewed by her leadership team as a reflection of her talent and leadership.
During the course of our work together, she discovered that her personal feelings about this responsibility played a significant part in how it was evolving. She realized that she did not see herself as a leader, thus her impact on her team was diminished. Her project suffered by this “lack of leadership”.
Eventually, when she began to grow her sense of belonging, she could see her “call to lead” more clearly. She began to make decisions and take actions that inspired her team to better performance and results. Her report to her leadership team showed her growth both personally and professionally. With targets exceeded, and cost savings evident, she went on to embrace even greater responsibilities in her company.
The Dimensions of Belonging™ is an effective tool that has helped women leaders enhance their capability and capacity to lead. To know more about how true belonging can serve you to be an impactful woman leader, improve your results and enhance your success, don’t forget to download our complimentary guide.
Fill in your details below to receive your complimentary guide.
Testimonials
Here’s what graduates of our Women Leaders Program have to say:
"A leadership program that embodies the Woman in You."
Choong Yen Li
General Manager, Venture Development Malaysia
"The course will propel you to move further in your journey to win."
Faridah binti Saban
Head of Engineering, Integrity and Development
"This is a journey into finding the best leader in yourself."
Siti Shafikah binti Md Daud
Senior Manager
"Great opportunity to connect with all participants and sharing the experiences from different cultures and country."
Chawiwan Jiraratchwaro
Vice President, Petroleum Development Onshore Assets
About the Author
Mel Christie has over 35 years’ experience as an international consultant, facilitator, and executive coach. He has demonstrated a history of results in the professional training & coaching industries. The focus of his work is both personal and organizational transformation.
Mel’s unique expertise:
• Executive Leadership Development
• Executive Coaching
• Organizational Alignment
He is passionate about creating results, developing effective leaders, guiding winning teams, and implementing strategies that make a difference.
Mel is also the author of The Six C’s Of Leadership: Improve Your Ability To Lead With Power & Purpose.
Mel’s Story…
Mel’s career includes being the president of his own leadership development company that managed and trained an extensive network of independent distributors of consumer products in the New York City market.
He spent several years as an executive of an international training company. Mel has held many corporate executive positions and diverse corporate responsibilities.
As a consultant, he has developed corporate clients in a wide range of business sectors including financial, technology, education, healthcare, utilities and energy, public, insurance, and telecommunications.
Mel has assisted thousands of individuals throughout the United States, Canada, Europe, Middle East, Australia, and Asia in realizing greater personal potential, and enhancing their effectiveness at work.
Mel’s expertise has been called upon to assist executives and their organizations to develop leaders, executive teams, and align their people. He helps them create, build and sustain cultures that attract and support trust, fosters communicating ideas openly, evokes sharing information to make outstanding decisions, and ensures nurturing effective leadership mindsets for themselves and others.
His client travels have taken him from New York to California, Taiwan to Indonesia, England to Africa, and Hong Kong to Shanghai.
Some of Mel’s media highlights include:
• Feature interview on Bernama TV, Malaysia
• Editorial interview on THE EDGE Malaysia
• Panelist for Asian Strategy & Leadership Institute (ASLI)
Mel was awarded a Bachelor of Arts degree from St. John’s University, and a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology from John F. Kennedy University. He is also a certified Integral Coach®
His loving family in Kuala Lumpur and New York nurture and support him in his life’s work!
