What If You Didn’t Belong?

For many of us the conversation about belonging began and ended with Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid in which he included belonging in the third level of needs. It has stood the test of time in social, economic, psychological, and academic discourse. Today we stand on the threshold of an emerging new age. We are experiencing a time of un-rest, un-ease and dis-ease world-wide. Historians will claim that it was predictable given the cycles of the human story. However, let’s focus on how belonging takes center stage today. Advocates for social justice, racial justice, and LGBTQ – all want to finally see total equality. What they have in common is not just equality but true belonging. Will we have the courage to take the step toward true belonging?

In the course of history, women have shown over and over again that they are essential to our very existence and success. How long will it take to wake up and hear their voices? Through many of histories tragedies and triumphs, women have been at the center. Their contributions to the advancement of humankind are countless yet often unrecognized. Recently, we all have all seen news articles documenting the successes of women leaders around the world who have demonstrated exemplary leadership in their countries during this global pandemic. It does not take extraordinary effort to notice their absence in our corporate, political, and economic circles.

Isn’t it about time for true belonging? In our emerging future, we have the possibility to at last create meaningful equality and justice, built on the foundation of belonging. In our executive coaching with women leaders, we find that even those who’ve attained positional power, may not have the experience of true belonging, either internally or externally. Have you ever walked into a leadership meeting and felt like you are out of place, under qualified, or not confident about your contribution? Or, have you ever experienced being not treated as an equal, like you don’t belong, or questioned why you are even there?  

Belonging is a journey from the inside out, and from the outside in. Where we can make the most immediate impact is from the inside. Starting with a full embodiment of, “I belong”.

Over our years of experience working with leaders, we have uncovered how belonging impacts results and success. Let’s take a moment to explore the Dimensions of Belonging™.

• Identity — At the center as always is you, your own identity. It is how you see yourself. It speaks to your awareness of who you are. It is connected to your sense of esteem and well-being.
• Acceptance — The next dimension is acceptance. Here we are allowing ourselves to let another into our world. We begin to see beyond just ourselves and to include others. This points to a step beyond our fear of being hurt, unaccepted, unappreciated or unloved. We reach out to another as in family and friends.
• Relationship — We can begin now to appreciate relationship belonging in a community around us. We offer ourselves in co-relation with a larger circle, company, or community.
• Contribution — The dimension called contribution connotes belonging to the world around us and everything in it. We see our connection and our contribution to this world. We strive for the greatest good for all.

How can you use this model for greatest impact toward your success and true belonging? Start your inquiry here.

1. Have you experienced non-belonging? When…Where?

2. Where do you see yourself in the Dimensions of Belonging?

3. Which Dimension would you most like to grow or develop?

Obviously, this starts with you. We are encouraging you to look with fresh eyes at how you see yourself in this conversation and how others see you. How are you impacted by it in your world? The premise is that if you cannot see it, there is very little you can begin to do about it.

This is a way to envision yourself in relationship with your world, with a call to be passionate about your belonging. If you find this relevant, useful, or valuable, please let me know and offer your comments.